Relationship Smarts
Core Principles :: Successful Selection :: Snags & Snares :: Pizzazz :: Lover's Quiz
Selection Snags and Snares
Rehab Project: Falling for a fixer-upper believing the Other will become kind/romantic/trustworthy/fair/sober/adult through the magic of being with you.
Instant Fix: Looking for immediate gratification, rushing into too much intimacy too soon, leapfrogging over the friendship phase.
Defiant Independence: You're so competent, you'd rather count on yourself than believe you could ever count on him/her (you've probably trusted too soon once too often).
Hourglass Panic: Fearing the biological clock, or gravity, or your driver's license Date of Birth (forgetting that age is a number, not a sentence).
Masked Ball: Putting someone else's face onto him or her (unfinished business with the past).
Last Stagecoach Out of Dodge: Believing there is no one who will really fit, so you'd better grab a ticket fast or be alone forever.
Imprisoned in the Tower: Believing you must be rescued from your emotional or financial neediness, thereby attracting control freaks or co-dependent enablers.
WYSIWYG: Believing What You See Is What You Get. Hasty decision based on short-term impressions.
Infatuation Boogie: Interpreting infatuation, attraction, need, chemistry, good sex, and/or attachment as love.
Feel-Good Trap: Assuming that if you have fun together, you are Meant To Be.
Magic Trap: Believing that your ideal partner/soul mate will magically appear.
Packaging Fallacy: Believing that presentation is all. Packaging and selling yourself as what you think the other person wants, instead of presenting yourself as you are.
Entitlement: Making yourself the Center of the Universe. Believing you should be made happy without any real effort on your part.
All-Or-Nothing: Evaluating people solely for their romance potential, instead of cultivating new friends.
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