RELATIONSHIP SMARTS

Core principles:

You are not responsible for another person’s feelings, but you absolutely are responsible for your actions, and you’re responsible TO and WITH that person to co-create your relationship.
There are two crucial elements to a good relationship: Selection and Maintenance. Both are essential. Neither is sufficient unto itself.
Doesn’t it make sense to put at least as much research, knowledge, and experience in choosing people you want to see again as you would in buying a car?
Be the chooser. Choose smart.
If your inner smoke alarm goes off, do NOT pull the battery out! That inner wisdom is your best friend.
If you two aren’t a good fit, sandpapering yourself or the Other won’t make it a good fit. It just skins you up.
Canned approaches, no matter how clever the book’s title, only work for some of the people, some of the time. You aren’t from Mars and you aren’t from Venus — you are a unique individual and should be treated and respected as such.
Respect is a two-way street.