Relationship Coaching

Relationship coaching is the next evolution beyond counseling and consulting. It’s for people who want to shine up some area of their lives together that isn’t working quite the way they want it to.

A relationship coach does for your mind what a personal trainer does for your body. Gets you focused, stretches you, trims away what’s weighing you down, and helps you achieve what you REALLY want.

People hire a coach because they want more of some things (money, time, connection, passion, fulfillment) and less of others (procrastination, frustration, delays, worry, stress).

What does Roz bring to the coaching table?

  • 35 years’ experience in the psychology of life management
  • goal-oriented coaching
  • real-world, practical ideas
  • ability to cut through the fog to essentials
  • savvy about gently altering unproductive relationships
  • authenticity, accountability, and terrific support
  • old-time Texas storytelling for insight and fun
  • an outrageous sense of humor

 Core principles:

  • You are not responsible for another person’s feelings, but you absolutely are responsible for your actions, and you’re responsible TO and WITH that person to co-create your relationship.
  • There are two crucial elements to a good relationship: Selection and Maintenance. Both are essential. Neither is sufficient unto itself.
  • Doesn’t it make sense to put at least as much research, knowledge, and experience in choosing people you want to see again as you would in buying a car?
  • Be the chooser. Choose smart.
  • If your inner smoke alarm goes off, do NOT pull the battery out! That inner wisdom is your best friend.
  • If you two aren’t a good fit, sandpapering yourself or the Other won’t make it a good fit. It just skins you up.
  • Canned approaches, no matter how clever the book’s title, only work for some of the people, some of the time. You aren’t from Mars and you aren’t from Venus — you are a unique individual and should be treated and respected as such.
  • Respect is a two-way street.

A lover relationship, whether with marriage or not, can be the source of life’s greatest joy (at times) or greatest pain (usually through frustration that the partner won’t Do Right, whatever that means to you).

Here are the core A’s of a nurtured relationship: Affection and Attention.

Affection can be shown in so many ways. The best ones are purposeful and focused, not just mechanical. The warm enfolding embrace, not just an impersonal hug with a back pat-pat-pat. A soft-lipped kiss that’s not a preamble to sex, but a kiss for its own sake.  A warm cuddle that’s unexpected, beyond the routine ones. A shared glance, unnoticed by others, that says “Hi, Sweetheart.”

Attention consists of really noticing and tuning in to your Honey. It can produce a wonderfully specific compliment—not just “you look nice,” but “Honey, you look wonderful in that shirt. It’s just the color of your eyes.” Attention says you value each other. It conveys respect, acknowledges the other person’s individuality, listens to the other’s opinion even if you don’t share it.

Often, effective and affectionate communication is what’s called for. That requires Respect… I have some ideas on that, too.